The Secret To Achieving Your Dreams: Don’t Try. Seriously.

Why Goals Are Critical For Focus

In this book, my thesis centers on the belief that “Focus” is becoming a lost concept. It’s being drowned out by iPads, apps, noise and buzz. I believe that those who make an effort to master the concept of focus have a greater propensity to take action, succeed and have a meaningful impact on the world.

Becoming focused is not simple. It’s not a one-time decision, or a one-time act. That’s why I didn’t choose the name, “Stay Focused,” or “How to Focus.” Focus isn’t a one-time thing. It’s a state. It’s founded on a series of actions, habits and philosophies. It’s also founded on the concept of goals. In this chapter, we’ll explore a concept that is often confused with setting goals: visualization.

We’ll first explore the science of goals. We’ll then look at the argument that’s arisen recently about goals being ineffective. And last, we’ll outline the organic process of painting a picture for your subconscious.

The Science Behind Goals

Scientists have found an astonishing reality about your brain. The brain cannot differentiate between what we want and what we have.

Our brain is made up of chemicals that carry out brain functions. These chemicals are called neurotransmitters. There’s a specific neurotransmitter that’s critical to one’s focus: dopamine.

Dopamine is the carrot on the end of the annoying stick. Dopamine keeps you motivated and drives pleasure in your mind. It’s a critical chemical for keeping the mind alert and focused. In fact, dopamine is a key ingredient in diagnosing ADHD (Attention Deficit Disorder); as some forms of ADHD are the result of irregular dopamine levels and reactions.

When our mind perceives that we’ve attained something that we want, our mind releases dopamine, which pleases us. When our mind perceives failure, our mind is drained of dopamine, which results in fear.

As you can see from above, it really is all about perception. Perception trumps reality. Thus, it’s important for you to hack the subconscious of your mind into perceiving what you want is what you will achieve; and what you haven’t achieved isn’t what you necessarily want.

This also tells us that it’s critical to set only one goal (which is outlined in Focused Goals), instead of failing at many goals. Why? Because if you achieve two goals, and fail at four goals, your dopamine will be drained, and you’ll feel angry, fear or like a failure. This builds evidence for why it’s important to only set one small short-term goal. Give your mind one carrot-stick at a time.

To Set Goals, Or Not To Set Goals

Recently there’s been a trend that revolves around the belief that goal-setting is becoming worthless. Growing up, we hear from others that in order to succeed you should set explicit, written goals. This camp is driven by Napoleon Hill’s infamous book, Think and Grow Rich. The classic self-help books regurgitate the same thing: “set goals and you’ll succeed.” Yet, recently, young successful entrepreneurs and businesspeople are throwing this ideology on its head. They reason that you shouldn’t set goals. “Goals pigeon-hole you, and prevent you from reacting with the times,” they proclaim.

To recap, Group A says that in order to succeed, you must set goals. Group B declares that goals are worthless; just focus on the present.

Successful entrepreneur and founder of Mixergy, Andrew Warner’s life revolves around asking successful people how they’ve achieved their dreams. He’s the “Napoleon Hill 2.0,” if you will. He, too, is struggling with the question of whether or not one should set goals.

In an interview with Joe Cirulli, a successful fitness-freak out of Florida, Andrew says, “I’ve been going back and forth on this whole goal setting thing. I’ve talked to entrepreneurs who don’t set any goals and they end up just feeling their way through and it never used to work out that way. People who just felt their way through ended up nowhere. They ended up watching TV because that’s where they felt the most comfortable. But now I see internet entrepreneurs who just do what they love and then they find an audience and before long they have a real business from it and here I am interviewing them and…I don’t know how to fit that in with what you’re telling me. In fact if I ask them, ‘Do you set goals?’ they laugh at me and say, ‘No of course not. I just feel my way through.’”

So which Group is right? Group A, who sets goals; or Group B, who doesn’t set goals.

Before answering this question, I decided to listen carefully to interviews from both groups and detect commonalities, as well as differences. I listened to Andrew’s interview with two people: Joe Cirulli (who’s pro-goal setting) and Jason Fried (a successful entrepreneur who’s against goal setting). From listening to both interviews, here’s what we know:

1. We know that both sides have reached success; thus, success is not contingent upon setting explicit goals.
2. We know that both sides work very hard and are persistent.
3. We know that both sides speak with a tone of conviction, certainty and belief.
4. Being that they speak with a tone of conviction, we can infer that they have a strong sense of who they are, what they stand for and where they’re going. They’re focused on what they stand for.

Explicitness and Conviction

After analyzing the dynamics inherent with these two camps, my thesis is that it’s not a question of “whether or not to set goals;” rather, I believe goal setting centers around two elements: explicitness and conviction.

Traditional goal setting is all about explicitly writing down your goals. By doing this, you gain a stronger sense of purpose. You also gain conviction.

Looking at those who have succeeded, they’re not on the same page regarding explicitness. Jason Fried doesn’t need to write down goals to gain a sense of conviction, but Joe Cirulli (and most people) need to explicitly outline their goals. They’re different in that area. However, they both share the same sense of conviction in what they’re doing.

Though some successful entrepreneurs don’t explicitly set goals, I guarantee you that in the back of their mind’s sits a vivid picture of where they are, what they stand for, and where they’re going. They’re absolutely certain that they can achieve their dreams. Whether or not they write this down, doesn’t really matter. They have the conviction to take them there.

Joe Cirulli displays this sense of conviction. In an interview he says, “You know, where I have a thought and I’ll wake up a three o’clock in the morning and I just, I can’t figure something out. But the one thing that I’ve learned about myself is I will figure it out. So that’s what I know, that it will take some time but I will figure it out. I mean I had to make a decision about building another club that I really didn’t want to build, but I was trying to convince myself that I did want to build it and without going into a long story, and I thought I’m going to sleep tonight and my gut know the answer tomorrow. And I woke up the next day and I had a stomach ache and it’s no joke. I was sick to my stomach. And I said well, I guess that told me the answer. So I have to rely on my gut feeling a lot of times. But I trust my gut to know whether it’s in unison with really what I want in my life. And so no, I go through those too. I mean, I have those holy crap moments in the middle of the night thinking things through and having a problem and being concerned about something but I’ve learned through time, I can solve it. And that’s the confidence that I have in myself, that I will solve it.”

That’s the secret. It’s not necessarily about setting explicit goals; it’s about painting a picture for your subconscious that instills a sense of conviction, purpose and focus. In a nutshell, conviction trumps explicitness.

So, should you set goals? Yes or no?

I believe that you should set goals if it helps you gain a convicting sense of purpose. And I believe it does. Your goal is not goals, your goal is conviction. Yet, I don’t recommend setting goals in the traditional sense. I recommend an exercise that centers on painting dreams within your subconscious, not about setting a bunch of smart goals. As stated above, your mind cannot differentiate between what you have and what you don’t have. Thus, it’s critical to paint a picture of where you want to be in five years. Naturally, your mind will guide you to this. After painting a picture for your subconscious, set a simple goal to achieve in three months. We’ll explore the art of painting a picture for your subconscious shortly.

The Model

After pouring through the classic success books, studying zen principles, eastern philosophy and reading tech entrepreneurs biographies, I believe that we’re moving towards a model where conviction and simplicity trump belabored models. In order to make your dreams a reality, I’ve outlined five stages below, which I feel serve as an organic process for achieving goals.

1. Painting a picture for your subconscious (This chapter)
2. Auditing your ambitions through questions
3. Setting simple, focused goals
4. Carrying out the focused goals
5. To-do list strategies

Below, we’ll cover the first element, “Painting a picture for the subconscious”

Painting a picture for the subconscious

For the past five years, I’ve been going back and forth on whether or not visualization truly works. Whether it’s just blowing smoke, or actually has scientific viability. What pushed me over the edge into becoming a believer was not science (though, science does make a strong case for visualization working); what made me seriously look into visualization was actually touching the Ferrari of an entrepreneur I know. I realize that sounds materialistic, but seeing a Ferrari pull up with an entrepreneur that was working in a factory five years earlier, and through visualization achieved his dreams, was the thing that really woke me up. And this is someone who’s not glittered all over the press. This isn’t a person who’s an outlier. This was an everyday person like you and me. Yet, he did one thing that set him apart. He painted a picture through words of his dreams on a piece of paper.  He then followed it up with a convicting sense that he’d achieve that picture one day. What’s critical, though, is that he didn’t stress out over achieving the picture he painted in his mind. He held the picture in the back of his mind and knew that one day he would achieve that vision.

Fulfilling your dreams doesn’t center around making a huge list of goals or even getting anything in writing (explicitly). Instead, it revolves around triggering that vision in your mind, and then generating the belief that you know for certain that you’ll achieve it one day.

4 Steps to Paint a Picture for The Subconscious:

The process below is not stringent; it’s organic, free and open. Before beginning, make sure you eliminate any distractions or objects that may divert your attention.

Step 1: Clear everything off your desk and pull out a pencil and paper

Step 2: At the top write out the following question, “What will my life look like in 5 years?”

Step 3: Using your pencil, paint a picture of what you want your life to look like in five years. Do this through words, a list, a blue-print of your house, of your office, of your charity, your nonprofit or anything else that comes to you.

Step 4: For assistance, keep the following sectors of life in front of you. But don’t feel obligated to paint a picture of each of them: hobbies, family, career, financial, health, spiritual, mental, social and giving.

After you’re done with this exercise, peg it to the back of your mind and recall upon this picture daily. Many entrepreneurs review such an item before heading off to bed at night. Bottom line: review this image daily.

The key centers on not grading yourself against this. Do not set goals within the various sectors outlined above (hobbies, family, career, finance, etc.); shelve this image in the back of your mind, and look upon it as if you know for certain that you’ll reach this picture–because you know for a fact that you will.

The Next Step

If you make this a part of your life every single day, you’re going beyond goal-setting. You’re hacking your subconscious to achieve the dreams you desire without trying.

But, of course, you’ll need to be moving towards something. Or else, you’ll just be wandering through life. That’s correct, and that’s where the focused goal comes into play.

The focused goal centers not on doing any specific activity related to the one above; instead, it concerns itself with setting a simple actionable goal that is achieved within three months. And that’s what we’ll embark on next. But first, you must audit your dreams and your gifts in order to better understand which goal to set. This leads us to the next chapter, “Questions You Should Ask Yourself.” You can read this chapter here.

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